I recently bumped into a former boss of mine, who I’ve always been on good terms with. As such, we chatted for a bit and she shared with me some family troubles she’s going through (don’t worry, I will not be sharing anything too personal since its not my story and I don’t want to violate her privacy. But it brings up some issues I want to talk about).

Her husband’s sister has cancer, and has been in the hospital recently because its getting worse (to the point that my former boss thinks this might be the end – my heart goes out to their family…not that any of them read this, but still). Among other things, her sister-in-law is not eating.  She is also a fat woman. And the doctors see nothing wrong with her lack of appetite.

Now, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions (people seem to think I’m militant enough as it is), but my former boss ALSO seemed concerned about the doctors’ attitude. This is a woman who drinks Slim Fast and complains that she shouldn’t be eating blah-blah-thing because she’s gotten a pant size bigger or whatever. So for her to mention to me that she thinks the doctors are assuming her sister-in-law doesn’t need to eat because she’s so fat, and thus helping her starve herself (that’s a direct quote) should raise some eyebrows.

I’m not a doctor, so there could be a totally sound reason for their attitude. But they haven’t put her on any IV-thing to give her nutrients to make up for the fact that she’s not getting them through food. And my former boss has repeatedly voiced her concerns to them, and they have not explained themselves or done anything about it.

This, of course, has gotten me thinking – would the doctors be acting differently toward a thin patient with the same problem?

Obviously, there are health risks associated with being on either end of the size-spectrum (underweight or “dangerously obese”). As a fat woman, I understand this, but I don’t think that being fat automatically defines my health as “bad.” Health should be about how active you are and how well you eat (not how little you eat) instead of what size or shape your body is. That’s the whole problem with this “obesity epidemic” we supposedly have going on – people use it as an excuse to make immediate judgements about a person based on how they look, instead of considering their actual habits.

For example, my girlfriend’s job is very physically demanding, and she has a boss who is stick-thin. This boss smokes heavily and eats McDonals’s almost every day of the week, while my gorgeously curvaceous girlfriend lives and eats as healthy as she can (she doesn’t even eat fast food anymore, except for Subway, and in that case she just gets tuna subs with lots of veggies). On the job, my girlfriend handles all the physical activity with much more ease than her boss does. But because she’s fat and her boss is thin, people automatically assume that her boss is the healthier person.

For my part, in my bellydance class, the difficulties I have come from my inexperience – not from my weight. I don’t seem to have any more difficulty than the thinner girls at my skill level, and I don’t leave class winded or have to stop dancing because I’m too tired or out of breath or anything. But again, people look at the size of my body and assume I am phenomenally unhealthy and non-active.

As for doctors and such, I can’t say how things are now since I haven’t been to see a doctor in a long time (not having health insurance will do that to you). Maybe nowadays doctors really do look at all of their patients the same, regardless of weight or anything. But based on my past experience, I’m inclined to sympathize with my former boss’ complaints. I’ve never been in a hospital for more than a day, but throughout my childhood, whenever I went in for anything – even just a regular check-up – my doctor would always suggest that I lose weight. Most of the time, there was NO reason to suggest that, because I was perfectly healthy “except for that.” I was put on many diets (as a result of that recommendation and the fat-phobia in my family) and none of them made any difference. I tried excercising like I was expected to (by going to a gym and running on a treadmill or using some other excerise machine, not by doing an activity that I actually liked to do). But fat people aren’t exactly encouraged to exercise in this society, are they? – “Ha ha, look at that whale running around the track! What a blob!” In the end, I only lost weight when I became clinically depressed (due to many, many factors) because I STOPPED EATING all together.

So, for me, the only way to “get healthier” by losing weight was to do something really unhealthy. Kinda defeats the so-called purpose.

All of that, including my former boss’s sister-in-law’s treatment, makes me think that doctors ARE looking at their fat patients differently than their thin ones. As if the cause of all of a person’s health problems is their body size. Have cancer? Lose 100 pounds and you’ll be fine! Broke your ankle? Surely dropping 5 dress sizes will heal your bones and turn them in adamantium so this’ll never happen again! You’ll be like Wolverine, only sexier!

Doctors need to stop judging patients, and prescribing things, based on the size of the patient. They should encourage the same thing in everyone – healthy bodily activity and healthy eating habits. If a person does these things and is still fat, then what’s the big deal?

And we non-doctors need to stop judging too. If less people made fun of the fat guy or girl running around the track, maybe everyone would be more comfortable living actively and doing exercisey things that they enjoy. Not having to worry about what everyone’s thinking of you does wonders, no matter who you are or what you’re doing.

So yeah. Just a thought.